Given the international headlines in the last few days about the seismologists sentenced to six years in prison and fined $10 million each for failing to predict the earthquake in L’Aquila that tragically killed 308 people, I’ve been pondering what else I could go to Italian prison for not accurately predicting. For that reason, I present to you: Things that are impossible to predict in Italy, besides earthquakes.

  1. What Bercusconi…willdonext.
  2. Whether the post office/store/mechanic/etc. will be open when you need it.
  3. Whether you will be able to get to work tomorrow.
  4. Whether the bathroom in whatever establishment you’re in will have toilet paper.
  5. Whether your scooter, or part of your scooter, will get stolen.
  6. Whether a puff of air conditioning will make you deathly ill.
  7. Whether your boyfriend’s mother will accept you.
  8. Whether the Dollar/Euro exchange rate will be bad or terrible.
  9. If you’re still learning Italian, whether you just said “discourage” or “pass gas.”
  10. Whether you’ll get a a 50 euro per month raise this year, or nothing.
  11. When you’re going to get paid at all.
  12. Whether you’re going to get a job after 35 years of school.

There were just too many for a top-ten. Feel free to add your ideas in the comments!